i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
