i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The beer is more important than you right now.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
