we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
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The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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