walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
