is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
