Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
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