Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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