I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
