Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
