Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
