hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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