Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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