Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
