Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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