I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
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So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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