I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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