me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
