Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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