I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
