In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
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They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
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Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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