i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
