Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
