I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
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i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
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I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.