i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?