I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
