I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
