i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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