i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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