I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
