I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
