The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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