found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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