ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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