Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
