Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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