but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
