So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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