Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
