I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
