I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
