Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
