i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
