this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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