btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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