My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
