I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize