Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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