no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
