what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Randomize
