I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
