She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
