You just made me feel so damn special
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
