Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize