forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
