It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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