he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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