69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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