Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
