whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
