remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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