why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
