We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I wish my penis had an off switch
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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