my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
