Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
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