We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
